My Most Important Happily-Ever-After…Mine
First off, welcome! While I’ve been blogging for tech companies for the past decade, I haven’t written for a personal blog of mine since 2016, so it feels great to get back to sharing what’s going on in my life.
So what, exactly, is going on in my life?
Well, the TLDR is that I resigned from my most recent head of marketing position, and I won’t be taking a new role anytime soon.
If you’re asking yourself the same questions that I have been since I put in my notice, those are likely, “What?", “Why?”, and “Who the hell do you think you are?”
So, assuming you still want me to keep going, let’s get into it.
“What?”
That’s right, I quit my day job without a backup plan. This is the point where most influencers would say that it’s no big deal because they’re launching their own business and already have 12 other streams of income.
But I don’t have any secret, lucrative side hustles—I never even made a dollar from my original book blog. I have ten years of marketing experience, but when it comes to marketing myself, I have no sponsorships, affiliates, or ad revenue. I never considered myself an entrepreneur and yet, here I am, taking the biggest leap of faith in my life.
“Why?”
So if I’m not taking a new job, founding my own company, or celebrating a recent Mega Millions win, then why did I willingly enter this new era of unemployment freedom? Like most real, honest answers, it’s complicated.
To all my colleagues, stepping away from my first VP-level leadership role may seem sudden and misguided, especially since I hadn’t yet reached one year of tenure. However, what you haven’t seen behind the scenes is a serious struggle.
Last year for me was marked by the loss of a loved one, family health scares, debilitating chronic pain, and mental health challenges—and that’s on top of living in a global pandemic, of course. I don’t divulge this as an excuse for my departure, but rather as reassurance that if you are also finding it extremely difficult to do anything more than put one foot in front of the other, please know that you are not alone.
I decided to take some extended time off to focus on my health and replenish my spoons. I may in future blog posts dive deeper into what exactly that means for me, but for now, I’ll just say there used to be many days when I didn’t even have the energy to brush my teeth, and simple errands like going to the post office felt as insurmountable as walking into Mordor.
There is a silver lining, however, to this particularly dark and stormy cloud. Because while I’m recovering, I also look forward to returning to my passion for writing romances.
“Who the hell do you think you are?”
It’s a common adage that creative folks shouldn’t quit their day jobs, because achieving any external markers of success takes significant time. The path to publication is a long and arduous one, and I don’t even have a literary agent yet, let alone a book deal.
But none of those will be within my grasp if I’m too sick and exhausted to write, which has been the case for most of the past six months. Taking calculated risks is the name of the game in Silicon Valley, so I don’t see any reason why we can’t apply the same mindset to our creative pursuits.
My editor, the amazing Kristen Tate at The Blue Garret, once shared these words of wisdom from bestselling author Jami Attenberg’s newsletter Craft Talk:
So here are my Ifs: IF you feel like you will wonder the rest of your life if you could have written a book if you just had the time, and IF you will not financially destroy your life by taking this time off, and IF you feel like you have the grit and determination and discipline to get up every day and do the work, and IF you have an actual Real Plan and by that I mean outlines and schedules and due dates and a great and compelling book idea you are absolutely dying to write and actually have already started writing it and can’t stop thinking about it, IF all these things are true, then I say do it.
I am so fortunate that not only can I answer yes to all of those ifs, but I also have so much love and support from the people around me, even if they don’t fully understand or would not make the same choice for themselves. Most importantly, I am capable of loving and supporting myself.
And while I don’t need to justify or rationalize my decisions to anyone at any time, rest assured that I have thought and planned and saved to the best of my ability. That said, I also understand that my overthinking and overplanning and oversaving may have played a role in getting me this far, but I need new tools now to get to where I want to go.
“So what’s next?”
I can’t say with confidence that I know exactly how 2022 will end, but I am unbelievably lucky and privileged to have this opportunity to go exploring for a year and find out. I have several books bursting in me to come out, and I’m so excited to dedicate myself to improving my craft and engaging in the writing community.
As much as it pains my anxiety, life wouldn’t be worth it if we had all the answers and just stuck to the script.
If you’re a fan of “Rick & Morty” like I am, then you’ve learned that in the game of Roy (aka life), don’t go back to the carpet store. You don’t have to abandon your Social Security number and go off the grid, but you deserve to live your dreams.
Keep in Touch
If you’d like to stay connected while I’m navigating the ups and downs of this journey, I’d be honored for you to come along for the ride. You can subscribe to my newsletter—each month, I’ll be checking in with my latest musings on writing and recommendations on everything I’m reading, watching, baking, and more.
I’ll end this post like I ended my last position—with deep and sincere gratitude. Thank you to my friends, family, mentors, healthcare professionals, and all my colleagues with whom I had the wonderful opportunity to work, learn, and grow alongside. You are the smartest, hardest-working, most talented and brilliant people I know, and I wish you all the best.
Here’s to happily ever after,
Alyssa