3 Reasons Why I'm Writing Romance Under My Real Name

My unpopular opinion on the pen name debate

Photo by Carmen Gonzalez on Unsplash

Before I jump into today’s rant, a quick announcement: ARC signups for Love Apptually are now open!

If you’re not familiar with ARCs, aka advance reader copies, they’re a way for readers to get their hands on books—for free!—before publication, with the request that they leave an honest review.

Getting early reviews is hugely important to generating buzz around a book, so if you’re interested in reading Love Apptually before anyone else, you can fill out my signup form. Please, and thanks!

Okay, now let’s dive into a topic that’s been grinding my gears lately: pen names.

I realized early on that whenever I would talk about writing romance novels, one of the first questions I’d receive would be, “Are you going to use a pen name?” or the more assumptive, “What’s your pen name going to be?”

Let’s be clear: I highly doubt if I wrote literary fiction, or even another genre like mystery, sci-fi, or fantasy, I would get this question as often. Because there’s something being said between the lines, which is that romance authors, in particular, need to mask their true identity.

So I’m here to talk about why that’s nonsense.

And brief disclaimer: I have nothing against the concept of pen names. There are many reasons writers adopt them, including practicalities, like having a name that is hard to pronounce or doesn’t fit the brand an author wants to build. Or maybe they have a co-author, a la Christina Lauren, who is actually two authors instead of one.

But for the sake of this post, let’s set aside concerns around logistics. Because I want to challenge authors about why they think pseudonyms are so necessary in romance, specifically.

There are a few main reasons that proponents of romance pen names give:

• Protecting an author’s privacy

• Distancing their books from the rest of their life or work

• Saving their real name for their “real genre”

The common thread between these reasons? Embarrassment and shame. So I’m going to unpack each of these, explaining why I’m choosing to combat the stigma by writing romance under my real name.

While I can’t speak for all romance authors, I hope that by sharing my perspective, maybe one more writer will take a stand with me.

3 Reasons Why I’m Not Using a Pen Name

1. I prioritize building a platform over preserving my privacy

There’s a certain kind of romance writer who wants to go scorched-earth in an attempt to protect their privacy: not only do they have a pen name, but they also never show their face. Very little online presence and no personal details are ever shared. Their profile pic is either their author logo or an artistic avatar.

I’ve found this can create a conundrum in two ways:

First, it provides a false sense of security in the same way homeowners like gated communities. If someone truly wanted to break in, they would. They’re simply deterrents, but are you actually going to scrub the entire internet of your identity?

Are you only going to write in cafes using a VPN instead of the free Wi-Fi? Are you only going to pay author expenses in cash so they’re not tied to your credit cards? Are you going to get a burner phone so you can create an Amazon KDP account with a separate phone number that’s not already used by the one that gets you Prime shipping?

Personally, there’s nothing wrong with creating a business entity like an LLC to mitigate liability and using a PO Box to obscure your home address (I took both of these precautions). But expecting complete anonymity is futile.

I’m a marketer by trade, so call me biased, but I gave up on having a semblance of privacy long ago. I mean, kudos to you for trying, but even Edward Snowden—security expert and NSA whistleblower—is his real name. You may be making it more difficult for people to discover your identity, but you can never make it impossible.

Which leads me to the second conundrum: by making it more difficult to be discovered, guess what problem you’ve just created for yourself? A lack of visibility—a crucial element in building an author’s platform and growing their audience of readers.

Think about it: no author events or book signings. All online webinars and workshops with your camera off. No silly “day in the life” TikTok videos that can go viral and bring in a bunch of new page reads. Not even selling to your friends and family, oftentimes the first ones who can help you get your author career off the ground.

People buy from people, full stop. While there are romance authors like Alexis Hall who can write bestsellers without making their personal brand personal, most of us need all the help we can get.

Some may be fine holing up like a hermit and expecting readers to come to them, but that is a choice few authors can make if they want to turn their hobby into their vocation.

But more importantly, I put my whole heart into my books, so I want to connect with my audience as the real me. Say what you want about parasocial relationships, but the creators I respect the most feel like friends even when I’ve never met them. And that bond is worth more to me as an author than having an untraceable digital footprint.

2. I believe in creative integration, not compartmentalization

I can already hear your objections: But Alyssa, you say, I don’t mind showing my face or sharing tidbits about my life. I just want a pen name that isn’t associated with my day job! I don’t want my relatives and coworkers to know what I write!

For some authors, I can empathize. If you work with children or in a highly regulated industry, like finance or politics, you may have contractual or ethical obligations that prevent you from being forthcoming about your literary side hustles.

But you should always be prepared for the day your pen name becomes public knowledge. And if Stacey Abrams can reclaim her name after years of writing romance as Selena Montgomery, then I believe more authors should follow in her footsteps and choose creative integration over compartmentalization, as she explains in her interview with Yahoo! Entertainment:

When Abrams's first novel was published in 1999, writing under a pseudonym was par for the course as she was building her career in politics and policy writing, she told BET.

That's in the past now. The multifaceted Abrams has since rereleased her 2001 spy romance thriller The Art of Desire — this time, with both of her names on the cover.

Now that the world knows Stacey Abrams is Selena Montgomery, how does it feel to reclaim your name?

I have always been proud of my writing as Selena Montgomery, and my deepest sentiment is gratitude — that now I am in a place where I have the opportunity to integrate all aspects of my writing and my investigation of the world.

But to all the writers out there who aren’t former Georgia state representatives, what are you hiding from?

Usually, compartmentalizing your books means you are either embarrassed by writing romance or by the people around you knowing you write romance. To me, this is the rotten core of the pen name debate. Because stigma against romance can never be eradicated when authors use pseudonyms like shields.

That’s why I’m loud and proud about writing romance. I mean, I love my name so much that I refused to take my husband’s. Alyssa Jarrett is symmetrical (2 S’s, 2 R’s, and 2 T’s), it’s relatively easy to pronounce, and I have a decade’s worth of SEO I’m not willing to give up. But, most importantly, it’s mine.

Writing romance is what I’m most passionate about in the world, so you better believe I’m shouting about my books from the rooftops. In the words of Lady Olenna from Game of Thrones:

I’ll admit I have a ton of privilege to take this position on pen names: I am childfree by choice, so I don’t have to worry about protecting the privacy of minors. I have a background in journalism, and I’m self-employed with a content marketing career in the tech industry, so I’m comfortable building a body of work online and have plenty of financial security that allows me to take greater risks.

What people may not know about me, though, is that I competed in high school speech & debate, so the fear and shame most people have about putting themselves out there on display for everyone to literally judge was trained out of me from an early age. At 16, I wrote and memorized a 10-minute monologue about the Armenian Genocide, learned how to cry on cue, and performed it across California in front of as many as 200+ people in one room.

(Fun fact: I placed 12th in the state and lost Regionals by one point to none other than Chris Colfer from Glee.)

My point is, after pretending my family was being massacred on stage for an entire school year, telling people with a straight face that I write sexy rom-coms or read monster smut in my free time is a piece of cake.

But if less privileged, more marginalized nonfiction authors can use their real names to publically denounce grave injustices, like abortion bans and police brutality, then I and every other romance writer should be able to discuss sexuality and eroticism with our whole chests.

3. I don’t see romance as a stepping stone to bigger and better things

My final reason addresses an issue I see often, especially with authors who are pursuing both traditional and indie publishing:

• They want to write romance under a pen name, so they can save their real name for their passion project in another genre (I never see this the other way around).

• Or they self-publish with a pen name, so they can save their real name for when they finally land an agent and a book deal with a Big 5 publisher to validate their creative existence.

What drives me nuts about this strategy is that it upholds a hierarchy that doesn’t need to exist. There isn’t one superior genre or path to publishing, but by associating our real names with credible, “legit” art, that’s exactly what’s perpetuated.

The spicier the romance, the more likely this is to occur—again, a result of the embarrassment and shame many people feel about sexual content. Funny how certain romance authors can value the genre enough to pay their bills, but not enough to put their real name on their work.

And I’m not saying you can’t be proud of your writing when using a pen name! But I honestly think maintaining multiple author names is more headache than it’s worth. Unless the genres you write in are diametrically opposed, like middle-grade children’s books and taboo erotica, you don’t have to make your life harder than it has to be.

After all, readers aren’t stupid. Alyssa Cole writes bestselling romances and thrillers under one name, and nobody gets confused when they decide to pick up one of her books.

Quite literally, the decision to use a pen name or not is a personal one. And I know I may change my mind about them in the future. But I’ve purposely chosen to self-publish romance under my real name, well knowing I only get one debut.

There’s no guarantee our books will ever achieve commercial success, and some authors don’t want to take the risk of their very first novel flopping under their real name. But I don’t believe in living with a scarcity mindset that says we only have one chance to “make it” or we’re total failures.

I have invested thousands of dollars into my books to make them professional products worth consuming, and I’m damn proud of them. If agents and publishers think I “blew my shot” and don’t want to work with me in the future, that’s their prerogative—and loss.

For now, what I do know for a fact is this: Romance is the most popular and yet least respected genre. And that won’t ever change unless we defend it.

So let me know what you think about pen names in the comments, and keep scrolling for your moment of sunshine.

Your Moment of Sunshine ☀️

Every month, I share the things I loved most to bring a ray of warmth wherever you are.

Reading 📖

Brutal Conquest by Lilith Vincent

Who knew I’d be making two Game of Thrones references in one post? If you’re like me and impatiently waiting for the next season of House of the Dragon, then you need to read Brutal Conquest by Lilith Vincent.

It takes the taboo relationship of Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen and reimagines it in this hot-as-hell mafia romance. Like the TV show, be warned that this book contains lots of violence and questionable power dynamics, but frankly, that’s what makes it so fun.

Watching 🍿

Arctic Ascent with Alex Honnold on Disney+

Ever since I saw Alex Honnold climb El Capitan without ropes in the Free Solo documentary, I have been obsessed with his adrenaline-fueled adventures—to the extent that I wrote my own rock-climbing romance!

Honnold returns in Arctic Ascent where he and a small team of climbers, guides, and glaciologists travel to the remote corners of Greenland to make a first ascent of a 4,000-ft sea cliff in the name of climate science.

By far, the most intriguing part of this mini-series is witnessing how Honnold’s lack of self-preservation impacts the people around him. Whether he’s seen as an unstoppable force or a reckless safety risk is ultimately in the eye of the beholder.

Playing 🎲

Source: The New York Times

NYT Games

Up until recently, I had been playing Wordle on my mobile browser like a heathen, until my For You Page on TikTok kept feeding me commentary about another game from the New York Times that’s driving players batty: Connections.

Intrigued, I downloaded the NYT Games app and got hooked pretty much immediately. Not enough to become a paid subscriber, but enough to enjoy my daily habit of logging in and testing my puzzle skills.

Not sure if playing reduces my stress or only exacerbates it, but I’m having fun nonetheless!

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